New Beginnings and Bucking Traditions
I realize we’re already in the last week of January, but historically, this was the week when I would begin to struggle with resolutions and themes that I had set to govern my next 365 days. Statistically speaking, this is also the week when many people are experiencing that very same struggle. And that’s why I chose to save my “New Year” thoughts and share them this week.
That’s exactly how I’ve felt for the past two weeks every time I have tried to write this blog. The fact that I’m writing it on a less-than-smooth flight from North Carolina to St. Louis should clue you in on the heights (no pun intended) my distractions had hit. Apparently, I needed to be in an airplane, 38,000 feet off the ground, with no internet (yep- it’s currently not working) or phone and nowhere else to go for two hours in order to “get ‘er done!”
The truth is, whether it’s the first chapter of a new book, the first page in a fresh journal, or the opening score of an anticipated movie, I love beginnings. There’s just something about them that feels inviting. And I would guess we could agree that January 1st tops the list as the mother of all beginnings.
But the start of an actual New Year? Well, that just feels like the pinnacle of newness, right? Like it somehow holds promise that all the other “new days” on the calendar don’t. Everyone is intentionally focused on what will be new or different as we turn the page into 2023.
And I get it. I used to be that person, too. The one who, in the last week of December, was making resolutions, finding my “theme” for the New Year, choosing my “word” that would serve as a kind of North Star for the next 365 days.
And then, somewhere around the middle of January, I was also the one who would feel down and defeated when I realized that all my enthusiasm about those resolutions and themes and words had faded. That let down was often accompanied by the smallest of shame storms; convinced everyone else was seeing their resolutions through to fruition.
In all transparency, most years those resolutions and themes and words seemed to be more about joining in with the crowd and not wanting to feel left out of “the club.” I would typically cave to the pressure I felt to answer questions about my New Year’s commitments.
I fell right in step with everyone sharing their word for the year, their themes and resolutions. Besides, I kind of liked the idea of joining the conversations. I enjoyed revealing my powerful word or creative theme. It felt good to feel like I was a part of it all.
Until it didn’t. Until I got honest with myself about the peer pressure, media enticements and cultural expectations that fed into my choices for obligatory change. Once I recognized that, I realized that what really captured my attention and drew me in was how it all felt like some rite of passage to usher in the New Year (minus the pressure and slightly unrealistic expectations).
Then, a few years ago, I listened to a friend share how she had denounced all the pomp and circumstance that came with New Years and instead created her own process for welcoming in January. Her own, unique “rite of passage” if you will, which inspired me to forego the pressure to do New Years in typical fashion and instead use the start of the New Year for reflection, inventory and awareness.
Something that has helped me stay focused and intentional with this is the use of journal prompts. They help me steady and aim my thoughts. Typically, I begin with the ones that allow for reflection and a sort of inventory of the year just passed. I don’t necessarily go in any particular order from there, and sometimes I use a prompt more than once, but I take care to choose them as they speak to what I need to explore, and I utilize them throughout the year.
Another perk of this process is that I am free to remain on a particular prompt for an extended period of time if I feel it’s beneficial to do so.
Then, this year, with just a hint of trepidation, I added affirmations. Admittedly, “affirmations” weren’t always something I could wrap my head around. Many I’ve read in the past were somewhere between blatant denial of challenging circumstances and completely unrealistic statements born of toxic positivity. I was more repelled than attracted by them.
But the truth is that affirmations can be extremely beneficial and there is even evidence to prove it. In fact, studies have shown that affirmations help to activate regions of the brain like the nucleus accumbens and prefrontal cortex associated with self-processing and reward. Further, studies indicate that affirmations can help build and restore self-competence as they change the script held in our hippocampus.
We see this in Scripture, as well, when we’re told to be careful what we think and believe in our hearts about ourselves (“as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7). We’re also told to think on things that are helpful, lovely and good. (“whatever is true, lovely, commendable…think on these things.” Philippians 4:8).
So now, along with my journal prompts, I’ve added affirmations. I try to choose a variety of both prompts and affirmations that offer opportunities to explore the emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of my life, honoring that I’m created as a multi-faceted being.
While I realize that journaling and affirmations aren’t anything new, I would like to offer this practice for your consideration as an alternative to traditional resolutions and such. To encourage further exploration of this idea, I’ve decided to offer a list of prompts and affirmations that I’ve found helpful, in the hopes you will find them helpful too.
This list has prompts and affirmations sort of hodge-podged together in the event you decide to turn an affirmation into a journal prompt of vice versa.
Journal Prompts & Affirmations
Something I want to experience more of in 2023 is …
Something I will give myself permission to grieve from the past year is…
Something I did this past year that I’m proud of is…
Something I want to do this year that feeds my soul is…
An unhelpful belief I’d like to dismantle this year is…
I am a kind person.
One way I can help others this year is…
Something I learned about myself this year is…
A fear I would like to confront and work on this year is…
Name someone who made me feel safe in 2022 was…
Something I’m ready to let go of this year is…
A cycle I would like to break this year is…
A personal quality I’d like to strengthen this year is…
Who is someone I can ask to be “in my circle” this year?
Someone who had a positive impact on my life this past year is…
Something that made me consider God in a new way this year was…
I can be strong and courageous, even in the midst of fear, because God goes with me wherever I go. (Joshua 1:9)
I honor my life and my journey.
My worth is not based on my performance and I refuse to cave into the pressure to measure my worth by my productivity.
I am worthy of my patience and my grace.
I will spend 10 minutes less today on ____ so that I can spend 10 minutes more on ____.
I can make choices that are hard, as long as they are healthy choices.
One way I can gently step out of my comfort zone this week is…
I am beautiful from the inside out and the outside in, just as I am.
One way I can grow my relationship with God this year is…
I am trustworthy and know what’s best for myself.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I give myself permission to feel my feelings.
I give myself permission to rest.
I can have bad days and not feel guilty about it.
One way I can practice being more authentically myself is…
I will be as kind to myself as I am to other people.
I am the beloved of God, loved more than I could ever imagine. (Ephesians 3:18)
Setting a timer for 5 minutes, I will journal everything and everyone I’m thankful for.
I will embrace change, even when it’s uncomfortable.
I am loved beyond my wildest dreams.
My feelings matter just as much as anyone else’s feelings.
My story matters.
God will go before me. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
I have a lot to offer this world.
Something I want my inner child to know is…
Three things that are working well in my life are…
Something I learned this past year or want to learn about God in this year is…
I am allowed to ask for what I need.
Something I can affirm about myself is…
I am stronger and more capable than I give myself credit for.
Today, I will be gentle with myself.
Five things that bring me joy are…
Something I want to remind myself of when I’m having a bad day is…
Something I consider a strength that I possess is…
I deserve a life of peace and love.
I’m breathing in calm and breathing out stress. (Say this with 5 rounds of breath.)
Two ways I feel blessed, loved and supported are…
Something (or someone) that makes me laugh is…
I choose to make myself a priority in my own life.
Three anxious thoughts or situations I can give to God and ask Him to help me with are… (Philippians 4:6-7)
Something I value is…
A characteristic of mine that I choose to celebrate is…
Someone I want to get to know better is…
Setting a timer for 5 minutes, I’m going to list all the people, places and things that bring me joy… GO!
This year, I will not leave my worth up for negotiation. I am worthy of love, respect and kindness.
Something quirky I love about myself is…
I will exercise my voice and not feel guilty about it.
A book I want to read this year is…
A book in Bible I’m willing to check out this year is…
One thing I can try this year to explore and/or develop my creative side is…
I am beloved.
Three ways I will engage in play this year are…
Someone I will share these prompts and affirmations with is…
So, that’s it! That’s our list. There are seventy opportunities here. Seventy ways to express yourself, encourage yourself, and help write the story you want to live this year and beyond. I hope you find these prompts and affirmations helpful, challenging and encouraging. And I really hope you’ll find someone with whom you can share them and share the journey through them. (Maybe you can buy “matching” journals and share some of your entries. Cheezy? Maybe. Encouraging and relationship building? Absolutely!)
Happy 2023 to you, my friend. I pray it is the start of an amazing adventure. And I hope you remember that every day is a new day–a new beginning, and a new chance to grow, heal, explore, change… or stay exactly the way you are.